Sweet Limerence

Sometimes memories sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks
When I walked into your arms on wobbly legs
To be met with laughter and congratulations
Or when you made a silly face and I laughed so hard I was sure this life
would waltz through my dreams forever

When you would throw me into the air
With strong arms that would surely never succumb to, I don’t know,
cancer
And the mornings we’d sing our song
Our song
Over stacks of chocolate chip pancakes
When you thought I was sleeping and you sat and rubbed my feet for hours
With the hand you could still move
but really I was sitting there with a warm heart
and a warm tear on my nose
The time I broke and you were the one to pick up my pieces and hold me

And instead of wiping away the tears I let them fall
Because once upon a time you wiped them away with your thumbs
And I like that memory more than the one that marked the day I’d never feel those
hands sweep my cheeks again.

 

Ode to Dark

The skies cry sweet drops
And the trees lament, sap seeping through rough outer bark
And in the morning the flowers have tears on their petals
And the grass is sliced from its roots
And the rivers run away
And the moss hides in the dark
So let me cry
Sweet drops as the sun sets and rises and sets
Let my hurt seep through my façade
And let my eyelids be dewy petals when I wake
I can’t grow either; I sink each time I take a step towards the sun
So let me run away too
And hide in the dark because the dark understands my pain.

How can I be human still?

It felt like a shell of what it used to be
empty and thoughtless and immobile
while the rest of the world spun
like it used to,
once
Its color drained slowly
and formed a lake
It used to shine, once
then clouds and rain blocked any rays
But how could it burn as much as it did
How could a heart burn and feel nothing at all
I say “it” because
how can I be human still
and why can’t I feel any longer

The Lonely One(s)

It is lonely at the bottom
You look up at the glass ceiling above you
And see feet running about
Like a corner in New York City
People with other people
Living a brighter life looked up upon
And you search for one person who might stop
And punch the glass that separates you from the world above
The one person to reach down and offer a hand
And pull you up to live
At the top
But what no one tells you
What no one knows
Is that the person up there
The one from the top
Might be lonelier
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